Types of bullying your child may be facing

Physical bullying

Physical bullying is the easiest to spot because it’s the most obvious form of bullying. It’s also what you’re most likely to think of when you consider bullying.

This type of bullying is about using physical actions. Think pushing, tripping, kicking, hitting, spitting on. It’s also about destroying a child’s property of purpose.

If you notice the following in your child, you may be dealing with physical bullying:

• dealing with stomachaches or headaches in the mornings
• dragging out the morning routine
• refusing to go to school despite a former love for it

Their reaction is normal — most of us withdraw from whatever is making us feel stressed. It’s sort of like shoving bills in a desk drawer so you can’t see them.

Gently ask your child questions to get them talking about their friends and their social situation. Brace yourself, because your child may share things that will make you cringe. Let your child know that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you and that you can help them.

Verbal bullying

Verbal bullying is harder to spot because the bullies almost always operate when adults are off scene. Bullies will make fun of their victims, tease them, call them names, throw insults at them, and verbally intimidate them.

Verbal bullies often hone in on children who appear vulnerable or are perceived as different than other children. And make no mistake: It can have lasting mental health effects.

Relational bullying

While physical and verbal bullying are direct forms of bullying, relational bullying is an indirect form. A 2009 study on direct and indirect bullying showed that boys are more involved in direct bullying, while girls are more involved in indirect bullying.

Relational bullying (also called social bullying) isn’t easy to spot because it often happens behind the back of the bullied person. A relational bully is usually set on increasing their own social standing by diminishing the standing of another child.

Relational bullying is about:

• harming a child’s reputation
• causing humiliation
• spreading rumors or lies
• making faces at the child
• mimicking the child
• encouraging or even rewarding others to socially exclude the child

Your child can learn to refuse to take part in this type of bullying by taking the position of an upstander. An upstander, unlike a passive bystander, takes positive action when they witness someone else being bullied. As well as lending support to peers, your child builds their own resilience.

Prejudicial bullying

A prejudicial bully targets those whose race, religion, or social standing is different than theirs. This is usually something they’ve learned from parents or others who are close to them, though not always.

Talking with your child about race and racism — along with other types of injustice — is critically important.

Aside from the immediate detrimental effects, the danger with this type of bullying is that it can lead to hate crimes.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is defined as aggression that happens through digital technology such as:

• computers
• smartphones
• social media
• instant messaging
• texts

A 2009 study suggested that boys are more likely to be cyberbullies than girls, but in reality, any child can participate in this behavior, even the ones you might least expect. The ability to hide behind a screen may make it even more tempting.

Cyberbullying has a distinct nature from traditional bullying. It’s a particularly virulent form of bullying for the following reasons:

• Cyberbullies know that it can hard to catch them.
• Cyberbullies hide behind anonymity and say things they’d never say face-to-face.
• Cyberbullying feels more permanent — once the message is in cyberspace, it’s always there.
• Targets of cyberbullying never have a safe haven because the bully can reach them any time and any place.
• Targets are intensely humiliated because many people may know about the bullying.

Tweens and teens are particularly vulnerable because they’re plugged in all the time. At this age, tweens and teens have a deep need for connectivity and may have a hard time simply switching off their devices. They may feel alone and ostracized.

If they lose their friends, a vicious cycle sets in that actually leads to more bullying.

These are the types of bullying your child may be facing, it is important to note that children usually feel embarrassed if they are being bullied and tend not to share it with anyone. As parents, siblings and friends it is our responsibility to always be on a look out for signs which may indicate that our loved one is being bullied.